It’s okay to vote for yourself

I learned this lesson is the the 8^th grade when I lost the election to captain the cheer-leading squad by 1 vote, my vote. Up until that point in my life I had never voted for myself, thinking that it was the most selfish and conceded of all acts. After that election common sense and logic kicked in and I never made that mistake again.

I am now over 20 years past that experience and still finding that I need to work on that lesson. I rarely put myself first; it’s always my daughter, husband, family, work or something.  I enjoy these things very much in my life and I love to excel at them and make them all happy, but I often forget that a little selfishness is okay along the way.

I think it was a good upbringing and solid morals taught by my parents that led me to not vote for myself early on, thinking of others first and not wanting to be selfish. Now it is life that has taught me to not take myself for granted and that every vote counts, including my own.

Enough

This week while on vacation I finally stepped on a scale. My scale at home has been broken for at least 6 months and I knew I was gaining weight so I didn't rush to fix it! I was disgusted to find out that I am back where I was a year ago, very discouraging. I've lost and gained back 35 pounds in 12 months.
We've been trying to get pregnant for the last year and with each unsuccessful month I seemed to find more and more comfort in my old habits and food. Stuffing my sorrows away. I just got back from vacation where I told myself - ENOUGH! I am journaling again starting today and am taking a few months off from family planning to take care of me!

GLEEK!

Not afraid to admit it, I am a total Glee fan or Gleek as we are called! I love musicals, tv and silly teenage drama so I think this show is amazing!
The one thing that I don't like is that everyone inside the Glee club has to be dating someone else inside the Glee club! Why is it, and it seems almost every prime time TV sitcom does this...any time you have a group of characters they all end up dating each other?
One of the newest romances in the series is Puck, the bad boy jock, and Lauren, the obese female wrestler. I find this relationship totally unrealistic and unnecessary to the plot. I am all for the introduction of Lauren as a strong and confident fat girl trying to make a place for herself in high school. But the fat girl usually doesn't have a jock chasing after her. I think that Lauren's character is pretty accurate with the tough girl exterior (it is a coping and self defense mechanism that us fat girls develop) and I'd like to see her character stick around. But this crazy Puck romance is just that CRAZY! I'm not saying that it can't happen, but it had just been my experience that the fat girls don't rule the school, they don't date the jocks and the generally and not all that popular.
I'd like to see more fat girls make it in show business, but I'm not sure that is gonna happen any time soon. As of now Ashley Fink (the actress who plays Lauren) is not even listed in the cast credits on the FOX Glee website.

Dreamin'

I took a little break from blogging but last night's dream was the perfect catalyst to get me back here.
I had a dream that a total hottie, god-like man, the type of man that makes all the women's heads turn and everyone wants to be with, was in love with me. It was me, but I was about 20 pounds lighter and not married with a 2 year old!
Your probably thinking "great dream", right? But no. The entire duration of the dream I spent wondering why this most incredibly handsome and highly desired man chose me. Did I mention that he was the guy that every girl wanted to be attached to? My dream self was uncharacteristically jealous anytime he spoke to or looked at another woman. I was sure this was some type of sick joke and that his feelings for me could not be true.
Got me thinking about how deeply my twisted thinking goes...I couldn't even allow myself to enjoy the fantasy.